It’s taken me a full 24 hours to come round to a full realization of what I did. It was awful. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself, but I realize I must just keep on living.
Last night… I ate at Krystal. Perhaps it was the fact that I’d never done it before in my life, or maybe it was the ridiculous amount of advertising they’ve been pouring on me lately, but whatever it was, I just got caught up in the moment and let my morals lapse.
Needless to say, I was instantly made aware of my foolishness. I’m sure that my experience was not anomalous, as all 4 of my turdburgers were identical in flavour, texture, and yes, even odour (a sort of acrid mustard smell as I recall).
The worst part was the sogginess of the bread; induced, I can only assume, by the rivulets of grease streaming from the meat as it gasped out it’s last palpitations of grey, miserable existence. At one time, an animal perhaps, it was now reduced to a pathetic square, devoid of nutrition, taste or any consistency beyond that of pimento cheese.
I have no intention of ever repeating this catastrophe, so please, if we’re ever out at 04:00 and I’ve had 7 or 8 whiskeys; don’t, under any circumstances let me persuade the group to stop by a Krystal. Just don’t let me do it. Please…
